April 19, 2008

'He brings the drama, 6 baby mamas'

Long ago Mariah Carey had a divorce from that enormous Sony exec (see "side effects"), and now we can thank Thalia for stealing his whitewashing powers. Mariah, we all knew you were black at heart, therefore the severance was the greatest tragedy to befall American pop music (that and the destiny's child split). The ritual of closing her albums with sad, helpless love songs died out and birthed odes to freedom. Homegirl ditched Walter Afanasieff, who brought out the overemotionally indulgent ballady Mariah.

Innocence lost, "touch my body" is another fearless induction into a sexually charged album filled with that Mariahtale of internalizing rejection and releasing butterflies only to find rainbows. She found her friends in Jermaine Dupri (who did minimal work for her before) and Swizz Beats, who at hip hop and electronics's ripening merge tamed her undulating, and ultra dynamic vocal range. Also au courant with hip hop and Internet culture is her butchering and abbreviating of words. I.e. Swizz made "O.O.C"; 'i get so O.O.C., out of control baby,' which will be the club's new jam.

Cruise control is a summer anthem, a light-hearted love extravaganza where Mariah's soulful strings go reggae, an attempt no pop queen has ever flirted with before. Fans don't fret, she shouts you out in "Bye Bye" and is on the verge of alchemizing your losses into her 19th #1 hit. "Wish you well," reminisces heavy baggage with her siblings once vocalized in her Rainbow ballad "petals"; a relationship of mistaken inequality that converts unhinged jealousy into pitiful manipulation. Mariah's successes are irradicable because she has fans that perpetually relate to her, as she continues to reproduce recycled stories under newly schemed hooks. Her songs are like candy (don't steal that for an album title, Mariah) which is why it's hard to tell if she could make an earnest effort to outdo herself. Regardless, she is two #1 hits behind the Beatles, and could well become the #1 selling artist of all time-for the record.